Problems with _G?

I started making a module for short-hand ways to do things in studio that I commonly do, like import stuff from the catalog with InsertService. So, instead of

game:GetService("InsertService"):LoadAsset(125013769).Parent = workspace

I could do

require(workspace.Utilities).import(125013769, workspace)

to do the same thing. However, that's also a lot of work to type out, so I thought I could make it even shorter by making a little script to put the utilities in _G, and then I'd just do this

_G.import(125013769, workspace)

And for some reason, my script refuses to put all the functions in _G. I'm not sure what's happening. Here's the module:

local module = {}

function module.import(id, location)
    local model = game:GetService("InsertService"):LoadAsset(id)
    local thing = model:GetChildren()[1]
    thing.Parent = location
    model:Destroy()
end

return module

And here's the globalizer:

utils = require(script.Parent)

for key, value in pairs(utils) do
    _G[key] = value
end

print("Utilities globalized.")

And from there I just use the command line to actually import the sword.